Daily Thoughts

7.30.2008

Depressing. That has been the most prominent word used to describe what I have penned on paper (figuratively speaking). I’m not quite sure if I agree with the conclusion that others have come up with but who am I to say otherwise? People will view things to their own accord and who am I to question it? I often see the darkness that lay dormant within my subconscious when I am left to reflect deeply. I will not deny this darkness for it is present in all of us and to acknowledge it is a step closer to getting to know ourselves better. To be able to understand it is to become aware of our boundaries and capabilities. I generally find myself to be a happy person; content with who I have become and, even though not having the slightest clue of who I will be, enthusiastic about who I will be. I look back at my short time here and though I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if I had done certain things differently, I look back with no regrets. For, to me, regret implies that you wish to not have done what you have done. The way I see it, each experience shapes the person we will become and with each experience, whether it has a positive or negative outcome, allows the opportunity discover something about ourselves. This is not to assume that I have not made any mistakes in my lifetime. I am just as capable as the next person of making mistake. But it is the result we come up with after the mistake has been made that identifies who we will become. Perhaps I haven’t made a mistake so catastrophic that it should be classified as regret. If so, then I consider myself blessed. Today I wrote up my bucket list. It is filled with so much possibilities and dreams. As I sit back and re-read the list, I am able to identify certain ones that have a great possibility of never coming true. But am I saddened by this fact? I haven’t figured that out yet. I know that life is filled with disappointments of all shapes and sizes but I do not usually let that get me down.